By Victoria Helen Loftus
It’s not that I won’t admit I’m wrong –
It’s just that –
And another thing –
I can’t merge my brain enough to make sense of my own thoughts
let alone the other.
A film clings to me
Fixing me in place
I do not have the capacity to see past my own pain
I want you to understand it.
Maybe you’re right –
Perhaps I overreacted –
There’s a possibility that I –
What I want to say is
clouded by asphyxiating defensiveness.
I assume the worst
Optimism slips between fissures
forgotten
Trapped with people I can’t call family – lest I forget my own.
Let’s not argue –
I was wrong –
I’m sorry.
Unable to say what I do not believe
Victoria Helen Loftus is currently studying an MA in creative writing at Edge Hill University. Her work has appeared in the Black Market Re-view and Leavings Literary Magazine.
Halfway through the pandemic I began an MA on creative writing, which reignited my love of writing and ended a three year hiatus in which I did very little writing. I have found that the time I have gained in lockdown and the unprecedented situation I’ve found myself in has actually inspired me and developed my writing, give me far more feelings and experiences to draw upon.